Life or Death
by xXHeart of GoldXx
Summary: The Titans finally find Starfire after she had been captured by Slade. Her condition is terrible, and they believe she will probably die. She will be sent to Tamaran, but Raven doesn't know if she can handle it when she asks her to come with her.


Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.

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><p>Raven sat in her room trying to keep her emotions in control. It was close to impossible though, because earlier that week, she, Beast Boy, Robin, and Cyborg found Starfire in Slade's hideout. She had been captured six months ago, and the state she was in was terrible. Beast Boy had been the one to stumble upon Starfire, actually. He had wandered off by accident because he never really paid too much attention to things, and he found where she was when he heard her crying. She tried to tell Robin that Beast Boy wandered off yet again, and he sent her to go look for him.<p>

Raven found him very quickly standing in front of a steel door. "Raven, I think Star's behind there," he had said to her.

"What makes you think that?" Raven remembered snapping at him, thinking his comment was ridiculous.

"She's crying. Listen," he had told her. He had better hearing, probably the best. She sighed and put her ear up to the door. Her violet orbs went wide; he was right, and that rarely happened. The two didn't want to alert Slade, so Raven went through the door while Beast Boy turned into a spider and went under the very small crack between the door and the floor. The lighting was dim, and she had to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. The two had been silent when they gazed upon their friend. Raven's heart started beating quickly when she saw Starfire. Slade had stripped her of all clothing. She didn't look like she had eaten a good meal in quite some time. Her ribs stood out prominent and it looked as if her body had eaten away most of her muscle and the little fat she had. When she looked up at them, her bright green eyes were so dull, they didn't look like they even belonged to her. Dried blood stained the floor and the walls. Starfire didn't speak, but let a weak smile grace her lips and reached her hand out towards them. Raven didn't even know if the poor girl could get up and walk.

Beast Boy had walked towards her and grabbed her hand, and found the strength to pull her into a hug. Raven didn't really know if she could touch her without falling apart, so she decided to use her communicator to call Robin. "Did you find Beast Boy?" he asked her angrily. "Seriously, you two need to get here now! Slade's close, I can feel it." Raven couldn't form the words; they had become all jumbled in her head. She turned the communicator towards Beast Boy and Starfire on the floor. "Is that…Starfire?" She took the communicator and flipped it towards herself.

"Yes."

Raven didn't really remember what had happened after that, although she knew they won even though Slade had gotten away. Cyborg had to hook Starfire up to an IV because she was severely dehydrated and close to dying from starvation. She had learned from Beast Boy's updates that she had been severely beaten and she had terrible bruises on her legs and arms.

Raven had tried to see Starfire herself. But every time she tried to enter the infirmary they had in the tower, she'd see Starfire through the window and, well, she simply started losing control of her powers because she'd start to cry. Many times she'd see Robin in there with her, just talking to her and keeping her company. Other times, she'd see Cyborg in there, sometimes giving her injections and sometimes just talking to her. Beast Boy she'd see sometimes. At night, he'd sleep on her bed curled up as a cat. Raven learned the poor girl had to be monitored at all times.

"Raven, can I talk to you for a minute?" It was Cyborg, his voice muffled through the door. Raven composed herself and walked over to her door and opened it. "Mind if I come in? It's about Starfire." Usually, Raven would object to this, but under the circumstances, she stepped aside. She shut her door once he was in and he sat down on her bed, patting an area next to him. She took a seat and looked at him.

"What about Starfire?" she asked him.

"You have to go see her. She's been asking for you."

"I can't," Raven whispered and looked down at her feet. "Every time I go near her…my powers…"

"Raven, you have to see her. This week's critical for her. We don't know if she's going to make it."

"I…can't." Raven closed her eyes as she held her head down.

"You know you'll regret it if she dies," Cyborg said with a touch of anger in his tone. He got up and left the room. He shut the door behind him.

Raven contemplated whether or not she should go see the damaged princess. Cyborg was right, she would regret not seeing her, especially if she was asking for her, if she really did die. A few hours after her talk with Cyborg, Raven managed to pull herself together. She left her room and walked towards the infirmary.

She looked through the window and saw that Cyborg was tending to the orange skinned alien. Raven took a deep breath and stepped through the door, closing it quietly behind her. She stepped closer, and Cyborg noticed her, and he gave her a smile, acknowledging her saw her. "Hey Star, guess who's here to see you?" he said and took Raven's arm, forcing her to the main area, so that she was forced to look at Starfire.

Raven wanted to run out of the infirmary right then because of the girl's condition. The scars on her arms were obvious, and she had tubes going into her nose and a couple of IVs stuck in her arms. She was hooked up to numerous machines. But what was odd about the whole situation was Starfire actually smiled at Raven. The poor girl still got overexcited when she saw her friends. "I'll let you guys catch up," Cyborg said and pat Raven on the shoulder, then exited the room. Raven just stood there at the foot of her bed awkwardly.

"Raven, please come sit," Starfire said. Raven had to strain her ears to ears to hear her speak. She nodded and sat down in the chair next to her bed. "I am glad you came to see me."

"Me, too," Raven said.

"How come you have not come sooner?" she asked her.

"I've been having trouble controlling my powers…I didn't want you to see me out of control like that."

"Raven, you need not to cry over me. I will be fine," Starfire said and reached over to grab her hand. Raven let her and tried her best to control her powers. So far, nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

"But Cyborg said…" Raven trailed.

"He is not a doctor," Starfire reminded her. "Besides, I will be going to Tamaran tonight. Galfore sent Tamaranean doctors to come get me."

"He didn't tell me that," Raven said.

"It is because I told him not to; I wanted to tell you myself." Raven was surprised at how much Starfire was talking even though the life from her voice and her eyes were almost gone. "And I have something to ask you."

"What is it?" Raven asked.

"I would very much like it if you come to Tamaran with me."

"Why would you want me to?"

"I would like the company, and if something does happen-X'hal forbid, I trust you to make sure my last wishes are fulfilled," Starfire explained.

"Why me? Why not Robin?" Raven found herself asking a lot of questions. It was probably to keep her mind off from crying and exploding things around the room. The last thing she needed was to explode one of the machines keeping her friend alive.

"I trust that you will not let your emotions get the better of you, and you will do as I say, even after my death. I do love Robin very much, but he can be unpredictable at times. You know how he can be," she explained. Suddenly, she started coughing violently, blood trickling down the corners of her mouth. Raven found a bucket conveniently next to her bed and put it under her, and helped her sit up a bit. She started vomiting the red liquid. Raven watched it collect in the bucket. When the sickening splattering stopped, she set the bucket back down on the floor and helped Starfire lay back down. She took a washcloth that had been left on the counter behind her, and she wiped the blood off her face. "This is what I mean. You have not dealt with this before," she said referring to the bloody vomit, "The rest of our friends do either the freaking out or the crying, although Cyborg is somewhat calm."

"That was kind of scary," Raven admitted. "And I don't usually get scared."

"I am sorry you had to see that," she said.

"It's not your fault," Raven said. "But I don't think I'd be the best choice to go to Tamaran with you."

"I understand. It is a foreign planet to you, and it may seem quite strange."

"It's not that," Raven said, not able to make eye contact with the alien. "I just don't think that…if you do die…I don't think that I'd be able to handle watching you die."

"I understand," Starfire gave her a small smile. Raven looked around the room, wanting to desperately change the subject. She saw the flowers, pretty pink roses with white ones in a vase. There was a get well card and a teddy bear, and next to it, a poorly drawn picture of Beast Boy and Starfire standing on grass with a blue sky and a sun.

"Who gave you those?" she asked her.

"Robin gave me the roses, Cyborg gave me the card and the adorable little teddy bear, and Beast Boy drew me the picture. There are more of Beast Boy's pictures as you can see," she said, pointing to the cabinets. Raven saw numerous poorly drawn pictures taped to them. However, this made her feel terrible because she hadn't even thought of getting her a present.

"I don't have anything to give you."

"Please, you do not have to buy me anything. Your friendship is more than enough," she paused for a moment. "Raven, you are crying and nothing is happening!" Raven touched her upper cheek and felt that it was damp-she was crying. But why wasn't everything going out of control?

"I don't understand…why isn't anything happening?" Raven questioned no one.

"Maybe you are learning to control your powers when you are sad," Starfire suggested. "You have been sad lately, correct? So maybe struggling with them in a certain emotion give you better handling of them," she guessed. What Starfire had said made sense. But why hadn't the people of Azarath, more specifically the monks or Azar, figure that out? She reasoned that as a child, that would have been too dangerous to try. "This means that with practice, you will be able to feel emotions. I am happy for you."

"Thanks, Starfire," Raven said. She had to admit that the alien might be right. She decided that she'd practice using her powers with her emotions later.

"Before I go to Tamaran," Raven flinched when she said that. She didn't want to talk or even think about that.

"Starfire, I-"

"Please, Raven. Please listen." Raven stopped trying to protest.

"I just want you to know that you have been more of a sister than my own. I would like to thank you for that, and your friendship. The truth is, I may not see you again after this or tomorrow morning. And knowing that makes me sad." Starfire began to cry. Her tears stained her face. Raven held back her own tears, watching Starfire's fall. The alien's voice was becoming hoarse and she was getting very tired. She didn't have much energy. She had used it all up speaking to Raven. All she could do now was cry. Raven contemplated giving her a hug, but then thought against it because she didn't want to attach herself even more to someone who was dying. "Please come, Raven."

"I can't," Raven whispered.

"I'm in a lot of pain. One of my stomachs is bleeding out, flooding my insides. My lungs are affected and I feel as if I am drowning slowly. Do you know what it is like to drown, Raven?"

"Starfire…" Raven managed to choke out.

"It is a terrible feeling. But you know what is worse?" Raven shook her head. "Knowing that a friend refuses to come with and be by my side to keep me happy before I perish, if that does happen."

"I'm sorry," Raven said. All of a sudden, she started coughing again, hacking up blood. However, this time it was a lot worse than the last. It was projectile vomit, a dark, sickening red. It was getting everywhere on the bed sheets, the floor, and all over Starfire herself. Raven could handle the somewhat normal vomit, but this time it didn't seem like she'd stop. Starfire was crying from the pain it was causing her. All of a sudden, Beast Boy came bursting through the door and hurried to help his friend.

"Star, try to breath," he said to her and brought her to an upright position, not even caring that he was getting covered with bloody vomit. Raven wondered what Slade had done to her to cause this violent outburst. Starfire began to take in sharp, ragged breaths. It was a good five minutes before she finally stopped. He put an oxygen mask over her mouth and turned towards Raven. "Why didn't you help her?" he yelled. It was silent in the room. All that could be heard was the humming of machines and Starfire trying to desperately catch her breath.

"I have to go," Raven finally said and escaped the infirmary. She rushed out of there so fast, she didn't see Robin around the corner and accidently bumped into him.

"Raven, what's the matter?" he asked her.

"Nothing," Raven said.

"I have to go get Starfire to the top of the roof. The Tamaraneans are here a few hours early and they're ready to take her," he paused. "So, did you accept her offer? Are you going to Tamaran with her?"

"Excuse me," Raven said and transported to her room, leaving a confused Robin.

In her room, Raven looked at herself in the mirror. "If I go with her, I'll lose it, and I won't be able to…no, this isn't about me. It's about Starfire and what she wants. But if she dies in front of me, will I be able to handle it?" Raven paused, then began pacing back and forth in her room, thinking about what she should do. If she went, who knows how long she'd be up there. But if Starfire could live on Earth which was vastly different from Tamaran, surely she could live on another planet temporarily. And most importantly, it would mean so much to Starfire if she went with her. Raven felt foolish for even denying it. Starfire was her friend and had just admitted to her that she thought of her as a sister. And when Raven thought about it, Starfire was kind of like her younger sister who needed her.

Raven hastily packed her things into a suitcase. She went as fast as she could to the roof of the tower, forgetting that she could use her powers to just transport herself there. She got there in time to see Starfire being carried onto the ship on a stretcher with Robin by her side, probably saying his last goodbyes. Raven knew she couldn't waste a moment, so she called after her, calling her name.

She ran up the stairs of the ship and got to Starfire. "Raven, you came back," she said weakly.

"I'm coming with you," Raven stated. She watched Starfire's eyes tear up when she said that.

"Thank you," Starfire whispered.

"Take good care of her," Robin said to Raven. She nodded and followed the Tamaranians into the ship while Robin went back to the roof of the tower.

As the alien spaceship took off, Raven didn't know whether Starfire would live or die, but she knew that the only thing that mattered was Starfire was here in the present, and that was all that mattered.

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><p>Hope you liked it :)<p> 


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